It's currently 7:20am on a cold Saturday morning. I can hear the birds making melody near my window and the cock alerting me that it is morning already. And me? I am just staring at my celling with no desire to stand up or do anything at all.

The Sunlight is yet to make its way to my room because I let the curtain down last night. Today is one of those days where I have no choice but to show up. What's the term for that again? Someone said it is called adulthood.

If I could have my way there would be a thousand people on my window side clapping loudly for me each time I decide to wake up and face life….

I don't know when this article will be published. Tommorow or next tomorrow or next week? I don't know. Let's bet on today…

I recorded my first podcast of the year few days ago, published it on Spotify for creators and I'm yet to post anything about it till now. Cold feet? Nah. I was looking for a perfect come back. Let's call a spade a spade. This might just be cold feet.

I'm going to be hiding it in this article. Let me know what you think about it when you find it

https://open.spotify.com/show/0Wyj9jsB53rCxyZDJlc9OK

Today is a stay in and listen to a podcast kind of day but I'll have to be outside to sort out important stuffs…

I have house chores sitting pretty on my to do list….Whew! Not only house chores but some other things

I'll reward myself with Karen Kingsbury novel or a movie by the time I'm done. It might take hours though. Can someone recommend a binge worthy youtube series to me? I'll be waiting. Thank you.

This morning looks like a hot pap and moi moi kind of day. The kind of meal that will make you feel sleepy after you finish eating it. I'm craving for one as I type this. I'm talking about moi moi wrapped in moi moi leaf. This is not just for aesthetics but the aroma that comes with it…

This morning looks like one where you can binge watch a series right on your bed and then fall asleep while at it…

Time to stand up and make the best of my Saturday

Happy Weekend 🫠

Wishing y'all a rest filled Saturday

This time around it came afresh even with more depth to me...

Abraham. What a man

I was reading through the book of Genesis few days back and the story of Abraham caught my eyes again..

Now the Lord had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee:

Abraham had all he needed for a life of comfort when God him. A house to call his own. Servants in their numbers. A faithful wife. Cattles in their numbers…

Something was lacking though. His purpose in God…

There was no vision for his life before he met God. He was just living life mechanically

God saw a mere man and saw nations in him. No. He called out nations in him even when everything about him was looking opposite of what God saw

And I will make thy seed as the dust of the earth: so that if a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered.

Genesis 13:16

God called a man with no child yet the father of nations. He changed his name even before the fruits came...He came into a covenant with him long before the prophecy became fulfilled

The promise came to him when he was 75yrs

The promise came when he was 100

And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.

-- Genesis 21:5

He waited for 25yrs...

25yrs of silence

25yrs of mockery

25yrs of doubts

I'm sure men would have mocked him especially with the weight that his name carried. Father of nations. The promise was not just in a son but the nations that'll come through that seed and promise.

The whole of Isreal came to be because of that calling..

There are times that Gof sees and calls out in us what we do not see in ourselves yet. He shows us this vision because he sees the beginning from the end.

He knows you from your mother's womb and he knows what he was doing when he gave you that assignment, purpose and calling

Yours is to trust him every step along the way

I've been praying lately that I get to walk worthy of his calling..

I want to become all that God has called me to be in this lifetime

I want to walk in his purpose all my life

So, today I got my spark back…

I opened my curtains again

I folded my clothes immediately I got back from work

I laid my bedspread…

I played music, danced and sang out loud…

I picked my bible and read my favourite parable( the parable of the prodigal son)….

I felt the holy spirit say “welcome back”…

I picked up my phone to record my audio podcast

I didn't have to force myself to eat. It is so nice to be back. So nice to have myself back…

I took my bathe and even applied lipgloss

I'm about to read bridge to haven by Francine Rivers. I've heard a lot about that novel. The girl in me that loves reading is back…

I miss this…me…unfiltered

And I hope never to lose me again…

Tommorow is another day that I look forward to already. Yes! I can do this thing called life with God knowing that he holds me at every point in time…

It's currently 4am and life is good again…Rain is falling and I'm on my bed re reading the article I wrote two weeks ago…

Thank you Lord Jesus..

How are you really? How have you been coping without me? I'm currently writing this on a cloudy evening with raindrops being music to my ears and the thought of you sneaked in as usual. You've been sneaking into my imaginations lately. It's as though you used voo doo on me because a whole strong woman like me is not expected to be all mushy when it comes to feelings. Coughs a little.

I'm an emotional woman so you better get ready for my emotional tantrums. I reserve them only for people I'm vulnerable with and no one has earned that access yet

I look forward to being friends with you because you'll be my number one person. I'll tell you the most random details about my day. I'll yap to you about both the good and not so good things. With you I'll spill all…

I'm a good listener too so I look forward to listening to you talk…

I look forward to praying with you..

I look forward to morning devotions with you

I look forward to singing with you. You better be a good singer or at least learn how to play instruments. There's still time for you to do that by the way….

I look forward to being vulnerable with you

I look forward to laughing to your jokes. I'm naturally a funny person too so you'll have a lot to laugh about

I look forward to watching movies with you..

I don't like going out like that so you'll be my safe space

I look forward to holding hands with you..

I look forward to sending Instagram reels to you. My friends are tired of me at this point..I hope you won't be

Let's talk about food self. I've been practicing baking lately and my cakes have been coming out so well. I look forward to you tasting them. I'm sure I'll be pro by then..Do you like yam porridge? I love them and I make the best porridge. You can ask my friends..

I wonder if you are a man united fan or arsenal fan. That was an unnecessary question sha

I look forward to loving you till we meet Jesus

Alright!

This letter was inspired by the rain that's currently falling

Muahhh

I can't join people in saying “Thank God Its Friday” or happy weekend because I'm a nurse. For someone that loves enjoyment like myself I chose quite a questionable profession. One of my colleagues at work asked me earlier this morning if I have a make up artist I can recommend for her ( she meant someone that has worked on my face before) and I couldn't think of one. She had surprise written all over her face. Her response was “ When was the last time you attended a party?” and honestly it has been so long. Lol. I'm either at home, work or church plus I don't have friends that are crazy about parties. My friends are my church folks…

Yeah ( scratches head ) so you can imagine what weekends always looks like for me. My life is quite predictable and I love it like that…

Saturdays are for evangelism in my church and each leader in church has a campus assigned to him/her to evangelize on Saturdays. I went to my assigned campus from my place of work today. I was there till 10am…

I could not even clean when I got home. I went straight to my bed after removing my clothes to sleep… I'm kind of a light sleeper so my sleep was interrupted by my neighborhood noise..

1pm: Started batch cooking

Jollof rice

Fried Fish

Soup

Vegetable

I was already tired by the time all these foods was done. Dead tired..could not even eat much out of my jollof rice..

3pm: Started cleaning the kitchen and moved to my room

4pm: Washed clothes ( They are currently chilling on the rope)

5pm: Back to my room…

Currently watching a series on YouTube titled When are we getting married? And I'm enjoying it. How am I just discovering this series 3yrs after it was released?

There's no light currently by the way. Infact we've not had light in a long while. It is what it is. Thank God for the privilege of charging at my place of work…

And yes…I'm on morning duty tommorow morning 😫

How was your day? I'd love to hear from you too. I'm sending kisses and hugs to whoever read my boring day to this point

March was an adventurous month for me..

1. I got a new phone after saving up money for a year. Its a win for me. Yayyyyy

2. I was super stressed with a lot of activities here and there

3. This fried rice came out so well

4. Ate home baked cake twice

5. I wrote a professional exam for promotion at work. Did a lot of reading. Wish me luck

6. I travelled to Lautech ( Ogbomosho) for my nursing professional exam immediately I finished my work place exam. My brain was literally screaming out at this point

7. I satisfied my moimoi cravings in the midst of all the stress 😩

I bonded with my friends and laughed a whole lot. I'd rate this month a 10/10. I also had a good fellowship time with the holy ghost…

This is me saying “Happy New Month”

Cheers to the glory days along

How was March for you?

Most of us felt cheated because Adulthood was painted differently for us. It was as thoughwe were pushed into the middle to dance suddenly without preparation. I saw and fantasised the aesthetically pleasing parts and not the rough parts too. I for one used to think that adulthood was all about having your own house to yourself and eating plenty meats. I'd stay with my mum in the kitchen while frying chicken and I'd day dream about having my own kitchen too. I had two grown cousins who were in universities then; they would dress up in fine dresses and I'd gaze at them with awe..

I didn't know it involved work, bills, stress, critical decision making, pressure etc. We are just expected to have it all together all of a sudden..

My 20s looked so far then but here i am now. Right in the middle of my fantasies but this scene is not going along with the script..

You know what I'll do? I'll enjoy this phase because I can only be in my 20s. I'll document it as much as I can. I'll look back on my 20s and be happy because I lived it to the fullest. I'll serve God with the whole of my strength because i'm doing this phase with him. The best days of my life is happening here and now

Cheers!

I had to take my bathe and prepare in the hospital because I did night duty. And guys thank God i didn't sleep off in the taxi I entered. I was not even feeling sleepy at this point. My eyes were just feeling hot as though pepper was poured into it. My head? Especially the center was banging.

I smeared my eyelids with mascara while preparing in a hurry and I didn't even realise this until a dear sister pulled me to the side to inform me of my “mascara” mistake. Oh, chim!

Today's sermon was exactly what my soul needed. Pastor taught on faith and making bold confessions. It was really uplifting…and I did doze a few times. I had to stand up to write at some point so as not to embarrass myself because I was sitting at the front.

Service and workers meeting ended by 1pm. I was excited to finally go home but I couldn't because there was going to be an after service prayers…I was tired physically but edified in the end. Guess when I eventually left church? 6pm. My brothers and sisters!!! My body was already aching at this point and my stomach was complaining loudly..

One of my friends at church was like “Sister Tiwa can you wait for me? I have stuffs i need to do before going home. Let's just be going together.

Me: I'm so sorry. I won't be able to wait for you. I need to be home like now 😅

I had to buy fried potatoes from aboki on my way home to silence the angry soldiers in my stomach. So, here i am at 10:26pm relaxing on Substack. I'm definitely going to be sleeping early today. Whooshhhhh

I hope i didn't bore y'all with my yapping

Happy New Week

Or should I say dearest gentle readers…

Life has been life-ing lately…I don't even have words to describe how it is going currently but most of the time I'm literally just tired but somehow I always manage to put a smile on my face. What phase of adulthood can we call this?

I need a long vacation. The kind that they take in movies maybe to Dubai or Maldives. A place where no one knows me where I can just breathe without the burden of responsibilities

I need a moment to myself..

I love the woman I'm becoming seriously but I want to be soft even if it's just once in a while

A nice bowl of ice cream is what I'm craving for currently

I want to dig into it while I cry

Okay…it's not as though something bad happened but I just want to release the pressure inside and let down hot tears while I lick cold ice creams..Ughhhhh

Hard girl hard girl does not want to be hard again

Can someone pamper me bayi? Send application please. I'll personally interview you

Ask me about a city that has never been silent and I'll show you Lagos

Eko Ile…One of the largest cities in Nigeria

The city bustling with men from far and near

The city of yellow buses

Eko never sleeps

The land where it is believed that plenty of money is made

Probably why it is the most populated

You'd wonder if they pick it as papers on the road

The city of jama jama…Not for a lazy man o

The city where you get to watch free drama everyday without the burdens of subscription

I am very sure that if God has an entertainment channel; Lagos Channel would be his favorite of all

Lagos is a mixture of stress and pleasure

Honey and spice

Wahala and enjoyment

Ghetto and class

One without the other is not complete

Don't stare too much or you'll leave incomplete

There are true life stories you'll hear about Lagos that will have you holding your chest

Are you a Lagosian? Oya, share your weirdest Lagos experiences with me 😉

Welcome to the very first edition of exploring Nigeria through the lens of Afrineye

This is exploring Naija through the lens of Afrineye 🇳🇬

Come with me to Lagos every Monday morning for the next couple of weeks…It won't be a boring journey I promise you

Good morning Naija

I was busy breaking injections and charting medications in my purple scrub while some people were receiving flowers. Oh, Chim! But wait o are we all truly single in this orange app or we are all just pretending. I'm not pretending though..

Do you know another annoying thing about today? I was stuck in traffic while coming back home around after 6pm…i just finished eating my first meal of the day

I remembered someone special today though. An almost a relationship kind of relationship that got started as friendship and got burnt out after the relationship conversation entered. Well, a lot more than that caused the split. But what I remembered today was how this guy raised the standard for whoever will eventually marry me…

He paid attention to every detail about me..

Chose to make out time even in the midst of busy schedule

Reminded me of how beautiful I am everyday and was my biggest supporter

It was the best platonic friendship I had then

I played back the memories in my head on my way home today

It was so easy to share my vulnerable self with him..

And I really do miss having someone like that

And on such a day like this I miss him

I miss having such a person as a friend

Even though I'm just left with memories on a day like this I still hold those memories dear and I'm grateful for the opportunity to have experienced such a person..

I said a silent prayer to God while thinking about this person

Dear Lord,

You know I'm the kind of girl that loves and feel deeply. Please at the right time send me someone that'll make this part of me worth it. I want this person to love me as Christ loved the church. I want my light to shine brightest with this person. I know you have plenty of them with you.

Amen

Happy Valentine's Day ❤️

Don't forget to subscribe

And I started watching the series on my laptop after eating my yam..

I was so lazy today..Started losing my braids at 7am and I did not finish it until around 9pm tonight. Mind you I'm not losing a million braids o it's just that I slept, ate and woke up in the middle of all that. Huhhh. I think I hate losing braids

I was looking homeless by the time I was done. Then I proceeded to wash all of my dirty clothes this same night, did a thorough room cleaning and prepared the atmosphere for a Netflix and chill night

Little things is the movie title in case you want to check it out

I love the relationship between Dhrush and his girlfriend. How he pays attention to her and she does the same. How they are not just in a romantic relationship but the best of friends. I love how vulnerable they are with each other…

Love is beautiful indeed..

And I think being in a relationship is beautiful when you are with someone that's ready to put in the effort in loving you the way you want to be loved

Love is not hard; it blossoms in doing the little thoughtful things

I lied when I said I'm a hard girl. I'm a girl that loves love ashamedly…

May true and pure love find us one day and Congratulations to you if you've found yours

I have a long and busy day ahead of me tommorow

Good night!

Here are ten fun things you can do for yourself on Valentine's Day

Write a love letter to yourself and make it detailed. What do you love most about yourself? You are the main character in your own story so make those words swoon worthy.

Message or call your friends and tell them you love them

Listen to your favorite music on repeat

Cook yourself a spicy Jollof Rice or noodles. Ensure that you add enough pepper that is strong enough to make your eyes water.

Drink plenty water. Water is good for your body…

Pick a love novel to read ( Ask me for recommendations in the comment section)

You can also do Netflix and chill at home

Valentine's day falls on Saturday so ensure you do a thorough house cleaning. You won't even have time to think about your situation by the time you are done.

Sleep. Ehn? Take time to sleep and rest your nervous system, biko. You need a sane mind to fall in love.

Go for a walk without your phone. Admire the beauty of nature. Allow the breeze to touch your skin..In summary go outside and touch grass…

Valentine's day is just another day…

Smile and get on with your day

Love and light

See you in my next article and of course Substack notes

Subscribeeeeee

I used to be the kind of flower that's always waiting to be choosen and watered…

I found satisfaction in brightening up others but not myself..

Always the first to give compliments while waiting to be complimented

Always the first to give words of affirmation to others but not to myself…

Not anymore

This year I'm choosing myself..

I'm choosing to water myself

I'm choosing to light up myself

I'm choosing to pour into myself

I'm choosing to show up for myself

I'm no longer waiting for someone to do that for me

I'll be doing that to myself..

I've experienced breadcrumbing from a guy and it's honestly annoying

What's breadcrumbing?

Breadcrumbing is when someone from time to time shows you enough attention that communicates interest but ends up ghosting you again. They do it in cycles. Send messages indicating how they've missed you and all…Then disappear again. Only to show up being literally the sweetest and going silent again

They never define the kind of relationship they want with you because they are not ready to commit..

Most of them love the attention they get from coming back to you and keeping you hooked

It boosts their ego when they do so…

This trait is both in male and female..

They send you mixed signals leaving you confused..

Most times their love goes loudest when they are about to disappear especially a day to them ghosting you

Bread crumbers avoid serious conversation about the future or “What you are to them”…Questions like “So, what are we?” makes them tongue tied.. Leaving you feeling insecured about where you stand

They are the kind of people you should avoid especially if you are in your 20s..

Infact run with your sandals in your hands when next you see one

Whew! Writing about this is like revisiting old wounds

I hope you learned one or two things?

Bye!

Self awareness has made me realize that I find it hard to open myself to someone on a deeper level...I would give you surface but will not allow you to dig deep.It's as though the deepest part of me is where I leave buried.

Sighs a little. I only open it in the place of prayers with God.It even took me a while to get raw with God. God had to teach me to trust him in my early days of knowing him more because most times I'm always like “Do i need to share this part with God?”

I came to realize in my walk with him that it's pointless to hide from him who knows me even before i was formed in my mother's womb. Why hide from the one who knows me from inside out? So, I tell him everything now. From the most mundane to heavy matters of the heart. Guess what I realized too? God cares and he listens.

I've learnt that vulnerability isn't weakness.It is to trust someone with your deepest part and it's worth it when you do it with someone that loves you..

I guess harmattan eventually came in January after waiting for so long. Lol

I like to think that my life is quite predictable..I'm like an open book. Very easy to read.

It's in the way I always find a calming YouTube vlog to watch as I eat..

It's in the way my eyelids start closing once its past 11 and 12 midnight

It's in the way my body naturally wakes me up at 6:20am sharp on days I'm on morning duty

It's in the way I roll in bed till last minute and then I start rushing

It's in the way I say “Thank you Lord Jesus” out loud every time

It's in the way I cry over little things like when I lost my SIM card and when I couldn't find my shoe on time

It's in the way my eyes sparkle when I smile

Oh! I love this life of mine! I'm in awe of how it keeps unfolding chapter by chapter. There's a version of me that I'm yet to meet and looking forward to meet. I love this present version with all Its imperfections. It's me. There's only one “me” in this universe…There are millions of other unique beings but only one me.

And I'm in love with me

Good night

I've always been a dreamy girl right from a small age. I fantasized a lot while growing up. I'd sometimes rewrite a whole script with me being the main character. Funny thing is that I still do till now. I don't fall asleep until I've created my own happy ending in my imagination. Maybe that's why I loved writing right from primary school days. Lol

Do you even know there was a time I thought I'd sell a storybook I wrote when I was in like Primary 2? Iconic

Day dreaming made my secondary school days fun and k dramas shaped my imagination of love. Not to mention harlequin novels. Oh my days! Those were good old days…I looked forward to being an adult then so much

Smiles…I sometimes wish I could go back to those days. Free of bills, worries and responsibilities. It's better to live in the “now” than wish for days you've grew past..

Days I was contented with listening to wildlife love songs and John Legend’s all of me on my small phone and earpiece..Gabriel Afolayan’s kokoro ife was a hit back then

I loved sitting with my thoughts then and i still do

Oh! It was so beautiful then

I can't wait to have the kind of life I see in my imaginations

I can't wait to experience the love I see in my imaginations. The kind of love that's pure and magical.The happy endings I write in my journal…I don't want to settle for breadcrumbs when there's a full banquet out there

I can't wait to see all that brings me a sense of fulfilment coming to fruition

I'm feeling a lot of things tonight and it might just be my hormones speaking but I believe thst there's an ioata of truth in its word…

My birthday is around the corner. I'm no longer a child but I still dream like one. Whooshhhh! Cheers to the woman I'm becoming, I guess…

It's currently 11:15pm here and these are just my midnight thoughts

I should probably go and sleep early because I'm on morning duty at work tommorow..Early to bed; early to rise as they say

See you in my next article!

The adrenaline rush in January is compared to none. It's the beginning of the year so it's much expected. Let's just take a deep breath and tighten our belt because the moment January comes to an end; everything starts rushing…

Deadlines starts pilling up..

And you get into the pressure of rushing things because the year will literally be in a rush after January

You close your eyes and boom it's June…JJ. Lol!

I'm not here to motivate anyone by the way

One thing we are not doing this year is giving up

We'll stay at something till we see it done… Right!

Alright

See you when I see you

Happy New Week ❤️